This feeling of confusion was exactly where I found myself when the #eatclean movement crept into our collective consciousness via social media. Like many, I delighted in the suggestion that there was, at last, a solution to my years of disordered eating, and that, by following a simple set of instructions, I would finally reach the promised land of good health and wellbeing. I bought the books, I bought the NutriBullet, I bought the spiralizer and the coconut oil. I bought the matcha powder, I ate the kale, I ate the avocados and the agave syrup. I drank the smoothies and the teas, I ate the nut butters, the protein balls, and the spinach-and-god-knows-what-else juices. I did the cleanses. I ate nothing but whole foods and I cut out carbs. And do you know what happened? I didn’t lose weight. In fact I gained it, and I fell into a pit of despair and negative self-comparison worse than where I had begun, because now I was a ‘failure’ too.